Dear College Parents

"The heart of a Mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness": Horore de Balzac, author

It has been a very busy week as we play “catch up” from the long weekend. It was a good break but it is now imperative that the boys get their heads down as they are well into the winter sports programme and have mid-year exams and the Eisteddfod looming.

There were several rugby and hockey teams involved in the Wynberg 175th sports festival. The 1st XI hockey team had a superb weekend emerging unbeaten. The 1st XV found the going tough and lost both their matches. We look forward to the first of our derby encounters against SACS this weekend.

There were several rugby and hockey teams involved in the Wynberg 175th sports festival. The 1st XI hockey team had a superb weekend emerging unbeaten. The 1st XV found the going tough and lost both their matches. We look forward to the first of our derby encounters against SACS this weekend.

On a sad note we would like to extend our sincere sympathies to the Labberte family on the passing of Karel. Our thoughts and prayers are with Janet, Ryan and Mitch at this time.

Please see the attachment for Assembly notices. Happy Mother’s Day to all our Mums on Sunday! I came across this rather amusing but true job description for Mothers which I thought you would enjoy:

A Mother’s Job Description:
Long term players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work various hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports’ tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required - such as Eisteddfod practices and sports matches and practices.

Responsibilities:
This is for the rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 km/h in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen all phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastics toys and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the house.

Possibility for Advancement and Promotion:
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

Previous Experience:
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

Wages and Compensation:
You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that University will help them become financially independent. When you die you give them whatever is left.

"The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more."

Benefits:
Job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life and the future title "Grandma".

Yours sincerely
Guy Pearson
PRINCIPAL